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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?